Mind Games....

If my "amusement" with the Redneck Crossing is not obsessive enough... you may now add PARANOID to obsessive.

My mission set out innocently enough - score another picture on my way to Decorah, today. Upon my approach, I can see the once "sitting" dog with the yellow cape, is now standing...wearing an orange cape. What could this mean? Does the dog have joints? Is he like the Johnny and Jane West dolls from my childhood with the hinged joints that could stand, sit and hold a gun? (I had Geronimo, too.) I needed another set of eyes. Too much to take in at 45 mph.

I get to the optimum picture taking range and the sky opens up to the most torrential rain I have seen yet this year. I can barely see the road. I can't get the shot. As I put the camera down and look to my left, I spy a little man with a red beard, wearing a yellow rain suit (or cape), holding a scoop shovel in one hand and what I believe to be a beer in the other. The moment I am directly across from him, he spins, looks right at me and holds his beer up to the air and laughs.

I felt like I had been "caught" doing something.....something I shouldn't be - and he was silently acknowledging the fact he knew I was the gawker and the picture taker. (That sounds like something Barney Fife would say, by the way... "he's one of them joke crackers....."). I quickly stuffed the camera under the seat.

I am fairly certain he was wearing the yellow cape that was draped around the sitting dog a couple days ago. I was also fairly certain, at the time, that the man was "real" or "alive" - but now... Hmm. Was he? Or was this caped crusader a ploy to wart off gawkers and picture takers? I wonder! Oh, they think they are soooooooo clever...

Game on Redneck!!

Breaking news at the Redneck Crossing...

I spotted a statue of a wild boar poised "wildlife like" next to the dog in the yellow cape today. I could have sworn I saw Marlin Perkins dash behind a tree as Jim, on his belly, elbowed his way through the tall grass to get a closer look.

I fear I must risk another picture.

Oh....and if you thought you heard some loud BOOMS this 4th of July....you ain't heard nuttin' til ya hear what an M-80 sounds like when you toss it in the toilet in the front yard..... I can't believe they sacrificed that opulent gem. Porcelain confetti.....

More to come...

Missions and Food - in no particular order

It's no wonder it is easy to be fat. I can say this, having been overweight about 80% of my life. The time it took me to clean and cut up a red pepper, green pepper, red onion, cucumber, radishes and celery - I could have driven to McDonald's and got a Big Mac and fries in the same amount of time (and I live 20 minutes away from the nearest one). This Revelation hits me at least 3 times a week - sometimes its peeling an orange - today it's the fresh veg. This particular combination is great to have in the fridge though. Perfect for salads and a homemade "Subway" sub - for which I have developed a particular shining for.

So, I am embarking on a little mission tomorrow that I must make part of this blog. Or, at least I decided this yesterday. Let me provide some background:

We live on a small acreage about 2 miles from this little village, we'll call Henryville. Hville is an amusing little place that touts a tiny bar (hole in the wall) and a bank across the highway that has been everything from a (bank, of course) rib place, burger hut, pizza place and I think one other thing I never stopped by to check out.

The inhabitants of Henryville have been the topic of conversation many times. Now, understand I am not attempting to poke fun at anyone's lifestyle, here. As with a great many things, I find myself completely amused by what I have observed over the past 13 years. Henryville could very well be the boyhood home of Jeff Foxworthy. Does that make sense?

Most of the homes that you can see from the road, tend to have old cars, lawn mowers, hobby stock race cars, TONS of lawn furniture about the yard - thousands of toys and bikes. This remains all year long. They shovel around it in the winter and mow around the dead mowers in the summer! Every other house has a dog tied in the yard - some in back of the house on a cement slab. So, you get the picture.

Some months ago, we noticed one of the residents had pulled an old, old rusted out car into his front yard. (We have to drive through this village to get to our house - so you begin to notice things...) It sat there a long time until the day we noticed that he had filled the inside with firewood - up to the ceiling, out through the hood area and out the trunk. Full. It sat like this for many weeks. Then one day - flowers had been planted around the car - so okay - they mean for this to be there - full of wood and right there.

There was no activity for awhile until one day a sign appeared on a make shift pole next to the car - "REDNECK CROSSING". Or something to that effect - it's hard to read at 40 mph. Then, a big fire ring appeared a few days later. We drove by the following Saturday and they must have had 40 people standing in the yard, with shiny little Busch Lite cans in hand and a raging fire! I don't know how long the shin dig lasted - but it appeared to be close to the entire town of Henryville.

This went on for several weekends in a row. Remember, we are not affected by this in any way since we live miles away off on a gravel road. But this is all curiously unfolding over several months and we now practically stop and gawk when we drive by to see what else is there!

Not long ago, then, I went by and on the roof of the tin shed that sits behind the car, this guy mounted a chicken crate or some kind of animal crate with a fake goose in it! It's screwed to the roof of the shed and sits there quite proudly.

Another few days passed and a phone booth appeared. It sits next to the shed (under the goose). That weekend, they again, had 'standing room only' and coolers as far as your eye could see! Raging fire, again, present and accounted for.

On Monday when I went by, I saw a yellow flag flapping next to the phone booth with something written on it - but it was too windy and I couldn't make it out. (I plan to find out though!) Then, if I could not possibly be any more amused I could see as I was nearing the Redneck Crossing yesterday, there was something new. A large white sign was set up near the road. It says, "REDNECK PROM, SATURDAY NIGHT, 7:30, Bring your own chairs, BYOB - EVERYONE WELCOME!"

Okay - I am completely hooked now. My mission tomorrow is to get a picture of this little slice of heaven! More to come...