Saturday, August 9, 2008

There is life after Movi-Prep

Well, this is what my Thursday looked like - I didn't include the little bottle of white grape juice that became my receptacle for "throw up" on my way home from the store to get broth and lemon jello. I do have a little pride.

Movi-Prep: A 2 liter cocktail taken 1 liter at a time over the course of an evening to induce a colon cleanse. Usually before a colonoscopy. Yes, this was my Thursday. (More about process below.)

I think the prep for the procedure is designed to make you so completely ill that you have ZERO anxiety about the actual colonoscopy. I was sick most of the day on Thursday and that was just from fasting. Once I set the morning coffee free, I had dry heaves for another couple hours until I finally managed a nap around noon. Then I mixed up my little cocktail and eventually added the straw so that I could taste as little of it as possible. I don't need to tell you what happened next.

By Friday morning - I felt flat as a pancake and more hungry than I can ever remember being. On the drive to Rochester I began to obsess about what I would eat once I was done... a chocolate eclair, a cheese omelet, Godfathers combo pizza - and a pound or so of Lasagna- oh and a cheeseburger and a chocolate malt..."yeah, I am having all of that...heh eh heh...." . I narrowly escaped Kwik Star without sticking my finger in a chocolate frosted donut.

I got through it though, and things look good once again. One more check up Monday and the countdown to September 9th begins.

Added: 2/18/2009 Footnote to anyone who has found this looking for information on Movi- Prep:
If you are fortunate enough to have had this prescribed in order to clean your system, its not that bad. I later learned I could have had a light breakfast the day you start this. I didn't and got the heaves because I was so hungry. The directions say to start this later in the evening - I did the math on that and figured I would be up all night long with this process. I started the first round at 3:00 in the afternoon. That way you are done by the time you want to go to bed and get some good sleep.

My first suggestion would be to drink it with a straw. Get the straw in the back of your throat so you taste as little of it as possible. Its basically SALT flavored with lemon. Excess amounts of salt will evacuate your system. Your system won't absorb very much because of the amount of it. So don't worry about that. I am on a low sodium diet. You will need to be close to the bathroom through the drinking process. You drink it in 3 stages if I remember correctly (I am adding this post some months later). Once you are done with it and your system is empty - you will feel fine. The next morning you will be HUNGRY - but I felt just fine shortly after I was done. Getting all of it down is the hard part. I ate lemon jello, broth and egg drop soup that day - minus the solids in the soup. That, at least, felt like real food. I went to the nearest Chinese Restaurant and got two big bowls to have on hand for the day. Drink plenty of water also.

Feel free to email me if you have any questions! kirk2@neitel.net

32 comments:

janban said...

Don't you love colonoscopies? Really, for the benefit they provide its well worth the fasting and pooping, don't you think? After my last one I had a bad reaction with the anesthesia (sp) I think I slept for 5 straight hours with a small intermission to throw up. Please know while I was doing all this my family snuck off to the Pizza Hut buffet.
Anyway, I bet you can't wait for the 9th!!

Brenda said...

That is so funny! (I mean the sneaking off to Pizza Hut part!) You are right, it is well worth it. It has to be so miserable to truly appreciate it I guess!

Yes - the 9th is fast approaching! Not nervous yet. I hope I don't get that way or all weird at the last moment before I go in, ya know? Like the people on TV - balling and hollering and reaching out to their loved ones as they get wheeled down the hallway to OR! Pray that will not be me! LOL

michaelg said...

Movi-Prep at our house involves making popcorn, gathering up some beverages and popping in a DVD. I don't like your version.

I had to take some version of Colon Blo a few years back for a barium enema. That stuff sucks.

Can you come up for Fall Fiesta on the 6th before your surgery??

patricia802 said...

Ughhh I'm waiting for the MOVI to start!?! I drank the first jug and am huge and in pain but nothing is happening! I am not usually one to hold back, either... I'm worried that this stuff isn't going to do the trick! My stomach hurts but so far, no action...

CactusOne said...

Warning This is FUNNY..
Part One..

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for
a colonoscopy.


A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a
lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing
briefly through Minneapolis.





Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring
and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my
brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a
product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave
oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we
must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies..

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began mypreparation. In accordance
with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was
chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder
together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For
those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you
have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes -
and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with
just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of
humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may
result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may
experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have
you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep
experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode
had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom,
spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must
be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point,
as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating
food that you have not even eaten yet.

CactusOne said...

Part Two...

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.. I was very nervous. Not only
was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return
bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do
you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and
totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room
full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space
and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by
sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more
naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already
lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep..
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered
what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so
you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but
to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy
was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot
tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously
nervous at this point..

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking
something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing
Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing
during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least
appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more
than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to
tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling
'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was
back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt
even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon
had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.


On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite
humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by
his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy Doc.. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'


And the best one of all:
'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?

melPE said...

Thanks for this laugh! I'm a few hours from my procedure and am pretty sure my body is now eating itself to survive. I so needed this chuckle.

Pamela said...

A liter is not 32 gallons.....it is just approx. one quart or 33.3 ounces so please do not tell people it is 32 gallons.....they would never get it all drank!!!

Hixey said...

HAHA... Cactus one... that really made me laugh... and I don't laugh easy. You should publish journals on everything.

Thanks

VeNT666 said...

Got my first dose next to me right now, wish me luck!

brenda k said...

Thanks for all the comments on Moviprep! LOL! Good luck to those of you who have found this because you are in the process of your own Movi-prep experience! It's not fun - but I have had to do worse!

cbw said...

Brilliant play by play. Thanks for the laughs and help putting me at ease.

Catfish said...

I am sitting upon the throne, iPad in hand, and thoroughly enjoyed your moviprep blog! How wonderful to know your not alone at such a time! I'm wondering if it's safe to get up yet. One "courtesy flush" so far. Hmmm rumbling begins again perhaps I'll peruse more of your blogs...thanks.
Catfish

Unknown said...

Holy Bat Man that was funny, as I am drinking my first 32 gallons of MoviPrep, I really wonder why they call it that, I'm in now mood to watch a movie right now, my stomach is starting to quake like Southern California.

majcpw said...

This has been fun reading. I'm now 1:15 after my first dose and still waiting... I know it's not going to be a fun night/morning but I guess its a necessary evil if one doesn't want to die from colon cancer.

brenda k said...

Good Luck! I am thinking I need to create a blog just on Movi Prep! Glad it was helpful!

Deborah said...

Thank you all for the fun comments. I too feel more at ease now.It is 6:35 am on Thurs. Sept the 13th 2012 and later today I start my moviprep.
Fri at 12 noon they do my procedure. So hope they wake me and say it's Over!!

Unknown said...

The Catfish is too funny! I am preparing for my first -- only about 10 yeara overdue and I am plenty nervous. i will keep this handy.

Rebecca Halpin said...

@CactusOne - Thank you so much! I needed that! I'm about to down the last 1/2 liter of the stuff, and you had me laughing so hard I had to run to the bathroom again. Really hysterical, and all so so so true. Can't wait until it's all over tomorrow morning.

gerray said...

Love all the comments...especially the humorous ones! I am seeng my GI doc today for a prelim appt to decide whether or not to colonoscopize...I'm sure the answer will be yes, who could pass up a chance like that?! Definitely going to request MoviPrep, from all else I hear and read, it's the quickest, although violent, I'd rather get it over as quickly as possible. Good scoping...LOL

brenda k said...

Good Luck, gerray!!!!

ron said...

Went to the Dr today and he ordered my presciption for Moviprep. Found this blog and cannot stop laughing. Probably not a good thing to read after drinking first dosage. Colonoscopy scheduled for Nov 2nd and going to Las Vegas on the 4th. So looking forward to a big buffet after this is done. Good luck all.

Kerry said...

Awesome humor, I'm smack dab in the middle of the 2 moviprep treatments, and can SOOOOO relate. Anyone else who has been through it will laugh until they cry! I'll just add, moviprep is sure to give you the runs for your money!
I'm just doing the routine procedure, God bless those who have to go through this for other reasons!

adelaide muro said...

You copied that from Dave Barry's article in the Miami Herald!!

jessie said...

I am so glad that I found this to read!!! I had my colonoscopy today, which means that the anxiety I felt yesterday was through the roof!! Was not for the test to be done today, that I was not scared of knowing I would be asleep the whole time. I can handle the sleep! I was so afraid of the unknown volcano that was coming upon me that I needed to take a xanax! Even though I read all these comments I was still scared out of my wits! (Soon to be the Shit out of me!) Anyway I got a lot of tips from here so I was ready. I didn't stay home. No way not this girl, in this house you are lucky to get the bathroom for a minute! The other bathroom would be to far to run to, so I decided to stay at my Aunts house. That was a vacation for me. We had a blast! Just me and her a her two cats and her huge house with five bathrooms! Got my Movi-prep ready and added Crystal light (lemon aid) tasted just like the drink added ice to the glass when I drank it with a straw and downed it fast! Drank water between times to help movement. Now I did not have a hard time at all!!! my trick that I started days before helped tons! I went on a almost all liquid diet four days before! two days before I had to do just liquids I did however make myself scrabbled eggs. I drank the rest of the time my Eco Water (vitamin water I buy at Costco its little packs you mix) and I ate soup! My prep was done in no time! I did the second liter the same night just to get it done and I was finished and felt fine! One other thing, I had gastric bypass surgery 9 years ago so I was afraid of being weak and hungry from loss of nutriment so I bought Ensure Clear Protein drink. Special K has it also. It is clear liquid so it is ok to drink! No reason for me to of had so much anxiety wasn't bad at all! Thanks for the funny story!!

jessie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erocker said...

Found this and definitely needed it and the chuckles just drank 1st movi chug and waiting for things to happen. Uggg

Brian said...

Ok folks, I am the latest rookie. It's April 4 and just drank the first litre of Movi Prep. The GI Doc told me it would taste like salty lemon aid with out the sugar. He was right on. I agree with using a straw to drink. The first dose was not bad but by the forth one I am about ready to gag drinking the stuff. Stomach is starting to rumble and bathroom close by. Been doing the liquid diet all day and I am already starving. Can't imagine what tomorrow will be like being this hungry now. If by channe they are playing Dancing Queen when I have the colonoscopy tomorrow, I will be LMAO. I will update after it's all done. Thanks for all the stories. Great stuff tonhelpnthrough this.....

Brian said...

Ok round two. It's April 5 and back home after the colonoscopy. At 9PM last night I had to do round two of the Movi Prep. Started gagging trying to get the last of it down. Up till midnight and pissing out of both ends below. I was nervous at the doc office at 7:30. The process was just like CactusOne stated. Completely disrobe, put on gown, then the IV. After signing my life away on a consent for, I was taken to the procedure room where the doc explained the process. No Dancing Queen music...bummer. Next thing I know they had me roll over on. Y side after hooking up EKG and BP. Next thing I know I was feeling a buzz and then I felt some pressure on my backside, then I was laying in the recovery room. Essentially no big deal. The worst part is definitely the prep. Great blog for us rookies. Thanks for all the comments.

U Sew Crazy said...

I am so thankful I found your blog! Feeling insane and frustrated. Have the Moviprep, can't keep it down in quantity. Uncorked violently about 5 to 10 minutes after each glass. Taking my time sipping what is left of this bottle. Can't imagine going through the same with the second dose, dear lord. I feel rumblings but so far no activity. Starting to worry about not being clear.

Unknown said...

Omg I cant say pmsl (pee myself laughing) I have to say I almost pmsl ( pooed myself laughing ) Cactus you should have warning warning do not read if half way thru the moviprep.
thank you all so much for all the info and laughs Im actually not freaking out now, just hoping I can get thru the second litre at 6 am in the morning ewwwww

Tom Nolan said...

My name is Tom Nolan , 50 yrs old , and I had my first time colonoscopy today ! Woo hoo ! But I did had to take MoviPrep and the straw part works . But the toilet part was boring . I had to read a book , no movies or television , and no help . But I lost 3 lbs. which is good , but had 2 bad reports which is Divatipolitous ( can't eat seeds or nuts ) and 1 polyop . Bad huh .